Sorry Spidey…

*Spiders in my apartment = not good

*Spiders in my bedroom of my apartment = mayhem

Many spiders in my apartment = pondering how to get rid of them.  When i say pondering, it means i usually will waste 20-30 minutes deciding the best way to get spidey out without getting crawled on or bitten.  Ewww…… I have had an official “bug cup” for some time now, just for that purpose.  I don’t mind spiders as long as they’re outside and not where i’m living.  General bugs and i usually don’t get along. 

The spiders that i have co-inhabited with this summer have been bigger than they need to be – the size of a quarter or larger.  Last night, i open my closet to find a spider at least an inch in diameter staring at my feet.  Lovely.  As usual, i ponder what to do and grab my bug cup.  I then trap her (yes, it’s a her) under the cup.  I try to slide a piece of paper under the cup but on carpet this doesn’t work so well so she escapes.  Eek! I trap her again with the cup and put a book on top so she can’t squeeze out from underneath.  I have no idea what to do next or how to get her outside alive.  I text my brother and he says “take the cup off and pound the crap out of it”.  I didn’t want to kill her, i really didn’t.  I had no other option.  No way to get her outside without my dog or i being bitten or her getting lost in my room, only to take revenge on me as i sleep.  I finally do as my brother says but on carpet, again, doesn’t work so well.  Her millions of babies fall off of her in the midst of it all, into my carpet, and she plays dead, only to come back to life after a minute or so.  Great.  The spider is still alive and now her babies are living freely in my bedroom.  Like i said, mayhem. 

I do feel bad about taking so many lives last night but eventually, with a little body spray (i have no bug spray, though i may invest in some soon) and a book, the mayhem was over.  I may have to deal with some bad karma for this, but sorry spidey, i had no other choice.  And hopefully your babies aren’t still manifesting in my bedroom carpet.  And as my brother told me after this situation, “at least i don’t have to sleep there! Keep your mouth closed!”  Thanks bro, thanks a bunch.   

Hello Sorry Sweet World, I didn’t want to do it. My brother made me.


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