Do you ever feel like something is wrong but you can’t exactly pin-point what it is? Or that you want to complain but really have nothing to complain about? Or even need scream at the top of your lungs at the top of a parking garage (or mountain, if one is close)?
I’m there. I don’t know why. But i’m so there. (Yes, i just took that phrase from an insurance commercial.) I have so much lately to be happy about and thankful for but i just feel icky inside. Maybe i’ve been getting too much sleep since the cable company turned off my cable. I could blame them. Or maybe i’m just not feeling well more and more lately because the doctors can’t find out what’s wrong with me. I’ll blame them. It could be the cold weather. Thanks fall-to-winter transition. I’ll blame you. And then there’s the curse of the good ‘ol town of Blacksburg. If anything, it’s his fault.
In reality, most likely it’s just me. Simple ‘ol me. No one to blame. All in my head. Just me. I’m just tired of being tired. Sick of being sick. I want to get away from this dead-end job that is leading me nowhere. I want a reason to get out of bed in the morning and look foward to the day. I want all the questions answered that i have of my life right now. I want simplicity. Not the complicatedness that is and has been my life. I want things to be easy for a change. They’ve been too hard for too long now. Life is hard – i know. Even the short twenty-some years of it has been difficult at times, mostly recently. A 19-year-old told me the other day that it gets worse. Really? A 19-year-old?!
I know it could always be worse, and i’m glad it isn’t, for what it’s worth. I am blessed to be a strong, independent woman with a roof over my head and at least a few friends who love me for me. Sometimes it just gets lonely in the little inmature college town of Blacksburg, even if my dog is still at my side. Thank goodness for him though, because without him i would be lost.
Hello Sweet World, it’s just one of those days weeks years……