So here it is…..

another Christmas Eve.  Just another day in my world.  I’m working, pet sitting (lots and lots and lots) and still having (another) one of those days.  No special dinner tonight, no traditions tonight, nothing different tonight.  Just me and my dog.  I don’t even have a tree up.  I need to pick up normal things from the store, not holiday things, like toilet paper and soap but every store will close early or have a line around the block. 

Don’t get me wrong, i used to love Christmas.  When i was little, i loved the electric candle light in my window and the glow it filled my room with.  I loved the advent calendars and decorations my mom had for me each year.  The “around the world” advent was the best, with pictures and facts about Christmas in different countries.  I think my mom has since thrown it away.  I loved the red fuzzy fox ornament i somehow aquired and wanted to keep with me at all times, which is now stored away in a box somewhere.  I loved waking up early to sneak downstairs and take a peek at what Santa left under the tree.  I loved checking my stocking and playing with the new toys i got.  I’m thankful for that and those memories. 

Today, though, everything is different.  Everything is so materialistic now and Christmas isn’t about memories or family.  It’s about buying a lot and out-doing other people’s gifts or last year’s events. 

Tomorrow i’ll get to spend time with some of my family for at least a few hours, and i’m so grateful for that.  But today i’m still living like every other day.  There’s no significant other to travel with or start new traditions with.  There’s no Christmas Eve dinner by candlelight.  There’s no spending the night with the parents and taking off work.  It’s just me and my dog in my small apartment in this small college town that has become a ghost town since the kids are gone.  I’ll be wrapping some presents, washing dishes and most likely playing video games.   

Call me the Grinch, but this time of year isn’t particularly easy for me, and i’m sure isn’t easy for other singles either.  Even though i made the choices to be where i am now, it’s still hard nonetheless.  I am just grateful that i do have family close that i can visit.  Some may not even have that.  So remember while you’re relaxing by the tree with your loved ones this evening and opening that first gift, some people are still alone for the holidays and it’s not easy.  Just take time to be thankful for what you have this season.  I’m thankful that my dog and i can keep each other company as Santa makes his way around the globe.  Because, after all, he is the “someone” in my life right now and like i’ve said before, without him, i’d be lost.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “So here it is…..

  1. Oh cuz, I hope that you and Zorro have a wonderful Christmas eve cuddling! Know that we are always here for you and wish we could live closer! We’ll see ya this weekend and are sooo excited about that! Love ya cuz 🙂 Keep your head up!

  2. I am so sorry that Christmas is a hard time for you. It has become materialistic. Aroung our house we try not to make it so much about the material things. We try to remember the real reason for this great day is Jesus.
    Hope that you have a great day.

  3. i can feel for you in a way. although i’m no longer alone, having just gotten married this year, christmas has lost a lot of meaning to me over the years. i was actually just having the conversation with my sister that especially since my dad passed away, the holiday season just doesn’t mean as much…or maybe it is a painful reminder. who knows?

    i know the true reason behind christmas, but it seems so many people have forgotten it. why do i have to go out and buy presents for people that cost too much and probably won’t get used? why don’t we save our money and get ourselves what we want? why is it about presents at all?

    i have really lagged in holiday spirit this year. i wanted a tree badly, and we didn’t get one. we haven’t decorated or really done anything different. this is the first year that i won’t be spending christmas with my side of the family and that is weird…my hubby’s family does things very different then us, and sometimes doesn’t even get together on christmas (just christmas eve).

    sorry to comment so long. your post just kind hit a spot that i’ve been carrying with me all month, even though our situations are different.

    i hope you have a good holiday with your family. and that you and your pup are snuggled up and happy this evening.

  4. Girl I have been the same way I finally got into the spirit yesterday. Hope tomorrow brightens your day.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂

  5. i’m sorry to hear you had a tough christmas. i wish you were closer b/c i would have loved for you to celebrate with my family! hugs and brights thoughts for an awesome new year.

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